Sirensong
by OnceABlueMoon
Summary: 'The sea god was furious. He cursed the fisherman's children and all those of their line to lose their tails upon birth, so they were fated to long for the sea forever, but nevermore able to join it.' - Haru curses his lungs with all his might, but damns the true curse resting upon him more. Because deep down in the sea, there is a boy he loves but cannot follow. Mer!AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Free!

 **Chapter 1**

In Iwatobi, close by the sea, there is a river. You can hear it loud and clear in the entire west side of the town, the water rushing so hard you won't even be able to hear the bell of the church ringing. The riverbanks are always slippery and just a bit further down along the path, the cliffs rise and it is altogether impossible to continue.

Nobody tries to climb the cliff. If you fall down, if you slip, you'll land in the water. And even before the fishermen will find your reeking corpse in their nets, they will know you have died by the screeching of the seagulls and the stench the wind brought with it. If you haven't been ripped to shreds by the jagged edges of the bedrock, you'll be devoured by the seven rapids the river hosts. Even the fish don't survive there.

One of the first lessons the little ones of Iwatobi are taught is this: Stay away from the river (it will be your death if you don't).

Sometimes, though, passer-by's see people climbing the rocks in the river, as if they are following a path only they can see. They don't think it strange. They don't feel alarmed. If there are people on the rocks in the river, it can only be the Nanase's, named for the seven rapids that make the river so dangerous.

The foot of a Nanase won't slip on the riverbanks, nor will they fall off the stepping stones only they can safely reach. They somehow belong there, in between the rushing water, the sharp rock and the howling of the wind.

The bay at the river mouth is their sanctuary. One side is sealed off by the river and the cliff, the other by the course crashing into the sea, and the coral reefs in the parts where the current is tamer. No seabird dares to deface the place, but you'll spot crabs and many treasures in the sand- shells, sea stars and sometimes even a sand dollar. The breeze smells like salt and sand, and even the pebbles are smooth. Despite the force, the water rushing into the bay doesn't tend to be any louder than the waves crashing into the shore.

It is a beautiful place, but the way the water flows is sorrowful, like a mother dying of childbirth caressing the face of her child for the last time. No one knows why.

When they hear the seagulls screaming how another fell victim to the sea, the old biddies gather children around them and spin tales of sirens in front of the fireplace. Gorgeous creatures who sing their heart out for lost men, they croak. They lure them deep into the water and drown them to rip into their corpses, teeth sharper than those of even the most vicious shark. Ruthless as the sea itself.

The children hang onto their words- Nobody knows whether that story is true either.

* * *

His grandmother tells him tales.

''And they sang, darling, they sang,'' she would say to him on cold nights when he would leave his bed behind and crawl shivering into hers, ''and it sounded like home. They are the voice of the sea, the pearl in the shell of the world.''

An owl hoots outside. It's dark, but it's much warmer nestled into his grandmother's warm body, underneath the heavy duvet she knitted last winter, than in his own bed. It smells like old people, but that's okay. Haru has ever known anything else. He vaguely remembers the fragrance of his mother's rose perfume, but otherwise, it's his grandmother's lavender scent that means family.

He puts his cold hands in hers and shifts even closer to her warmth. He watches the shadows on the wall and loses himself in the story.

 _''Long ago, on a coast not yet named, a fisherman spent all day at sea, but as the sun began to set, he still had only a meager catch. When night fell, he rowed to shore and beached his boat._

 _As he walked toward his cottage across the beach, he heard beautiful voices singing a sweet, high, lyrical and lovely tune, a song more beautiful than any he had ever heard._

 _He turned towards the sound and saw what few have ever seen. There, near the water, a dozen Selkie people were laughing, playing and singing. The fisherman could not believe his eyes. Few ever saw the seal folk, who now and then cast aside their skins and took on human forms to play on the shore._

 _The fisherman stood and stared, but when the Selkie people noticed him, they quickly dived into the sea. Slipping beneath the waves, they disappeared._

 _"I must have been dreaming," said the fisherman aloud, and again he turned toward his cottage. But something nagged at him, so he turned again, and this time he noticed something sleek and shiny lying on a rock. He walked closer, and now he saw: It was a seal skin._

 _"No one will ever believe I've seen the Selkies unless I show them this," he said, and so he leaned over, picked up the skin and slung it over his shoulder._

 _As he walked, he whistled. "My, what a pretty penny I'll earn by selling this."_

 _Just as he said this, he heard footsteps close behind him, and fearing a thief, he quickly turned around to look._

 _There was no thief behind him. No, indeed. It was an exquisitely beautiful young woman standing there, but she was weeping so hard it nearly caused the fisherman's heart to break._

 _"Beautiful lady," he said, "why do you weep?"_

 _"Kind sir," she said, choking back tears, "you have my sealskin. I beg of you, give it back, for I belong to the Selkies, and I cannot live under the sea without my skin."_

 _The fisherman could not stop staring. You see, he had fallen in love at first sight, and because he was a young man, and terribly headstrong, he thought he must keep her with him, not thinking of her wants at all. He clutched the sealskin to his chest, pressing it to his pounding heart._

 _"Dear lady," he said gently, "be my wife, for I have fallen madly in love with you, and without your sealskin, you'll have to live on land. I'll make you happy, I promise."_

 _"Please sir," she cried, "my folk will be so worried. I must go home. Never could I be happy on land."_

 _But the young man was stubborn. So he smiled as sweetly as he could, bowed his head and bent down on one knee. "Dear woman, my cottage is a cozy place. I'll keep you warm by the fire, I'll feed you all the fresh fish you could ever wish to eat. I promise you will live a blissful life on land as my bride."_

 _The young woman felt helpless without her skin. "I fear I must go home with you until you will return my skin," she said frightened, and saying this, he took her hand and led her to his home._

 _For many weeks the fisherman kept the sealskin with him for he feared his bride-to-be would steal it and slip away. But after a while, the sweet lady began to settle in the life on land, and when the fisherman thought she was content, he stuffed the skin inside a crevice in the chimney. "There my girl will never find it," he said to himself._

 _Another month went by, they married and time passed nicely indeed. They led a joyful life, for though the fisherman was stubborn and selfish at times, he was also kind and generous. He truly loved his wife, and he always worked hard to make her happy.  
After a while, the Selkie woman grew to love her stubborn husband, and sometimes she would sing to him. Those nights he was the happiest man in the world._

 _And as the years passed, the couple had seven children, and the Selkie woman loved them with all her heart.  
Most of the time the family was merry, though every once in a while the children would find their mother on the beach, gazing wistfully out to sea. They would circle her and ask, "Mother, why do you look so sad?"_

 _And she would shake her head and kiss their foreheads. "Never mind," she told her children, "I've only been dreaming too long."_

 _One day the fisherman and the three eldest children went out in their boat to catch fish. The next three walked to the village to buy some bread and milk and the mother and her youngest son stayed home alone._

 _Now the mother looked out of the window and watched the waves crashing onto the shore. Far in the distance, she noticed a band of seals playing and barking on the slick, black rocks. She sighed deeply, and her eyes filled with tears._

 _Her youngest son ran to her side. "Mother, what's wrong?" he asked. "Whenever you look out to sea, you grow so sad."_

 _Without thinking she turned and said: "I'm sad because I was born in the sea. It's the home to which I never can return because your father hid my sealskin."_

 _Now the boy, like all children, had heard tales of the Selkie folk, so right away he knew what his mother must be, and he ran to the fireplace, reached up and pulled the sealskin from its hiding place. He held it out to his mother._

 _"How did you find it?" she asked, astonished at the sight of her skin._

 _"One day, I was here alone with father," said the boy, "and he took this from its hiding place and stared at it. I knew it was special, and now I understand what it is."_

 _The woman embraced the sealskin, and then she reached for her child and embraced him. "My darling," she whispered, "I will always love you," and then, clasping sealskin to her heart, she ran outside and down to the sea._

 _She slipped into her skin and dived into the bracing water._

''And the wife swam away from her husband. And though he called out to the sea every day, desperate to get her back, she never answered.''

Haru frowns. ''What happened to the children?''

His grandmother smiles sadly, her face barely visible in the soft light of the lamp on the bedside table. ''The sea god was furious, and his rage brought terrible tragedy upon the fisherman's family. Despite the fact the fisherman had forced the selkie maiden to marry him in his own selfish desire, he was a family man, and what hurt his family was what would hurt him the most. So the sea god took his revenge in a manner so terrible that even today we can hardly bring ourselves to speak of it. He cursed the fisherman's children and all those of their line to lose their tail-skins upon birth, so they were fated to long for the sea forever, but nevermore be able to join it.''

There has been a tremendous ache inside of him for all his life, and somehow, the tale makes him so awfully sad. But Haru can see the look in his grandmother's eyes and knows he is not alone in this.

They still do not sleep well that night.

* * *

His gaze tends to flit around at times, as if glimpsing something in the corner of his eyes. He doesn't, but Haru feels like he should. Like the creatures in his dreams belonged there, dancing around in the water instead of air.

The life he lives while he's awake is boring in comparison.

He doesn't mind the other children much- at least, as long as they don't bother him. He just… Wants to do his own thing. Wants to be free, even if he isn't sure what being free truly means.

He's been trapped all his life.

* * *

''It's just,'' his mother sighs, looking down at the lipstick stain on the rim of her teacup, ''I would be less worried if he would just _talk_ to people. Makoto is his only friend. He simply shuts everyone else out! Haru isn't shy- he's anything but! So why does he keep being so difficult!''

His mother keeps picking at her sleeves. The plaid shirt is wrinkled terribly, and her fidgeting only makes it worse. His grandmother reaches over the table and takes his mother's hand. Her smile is tight-lipped, and she licks her lips as if she is trying to soften her expression. It doesn't work.

Haru knows how hard it is to be patient with the people around you.

''Aoi, stop worrying about Haruka. He's fine, believe me. Chiura was no different as a child! Always puttering of somewhere, doing who knows what- though it probably involved water in some way.'' She frowns and lets go of his mother's hand. ''How is Chiura, actually?''

His mother bites her lip and averts her eyes. ''He… He's not feeling well, I'm afraid.''

His grandmother shakes her head and tilts it until she is gazing towards the sea, lost in her own thoughts. She folds her hand underneath her chin. ''I thought so.''

* * *

Haru doesn't dwell on the conversation he overheard- to be honest, the only thing he even paid attention to was that his mother said he had only one friend: Makoto. That's not true. Haru has another friend, and though he loves Makoto, Rin somehow makes the world shine brighter.

Rin is unlike the other children. He's another species, for one.

* * *

 **Authors note**

Hi, everyone!

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you enjoyed it!

This story has already been finished, the only thing I still need to do is edit the next chapters. I'll post a chapter per week- there are four chapters in total.

For those who didn't know, Nanase (七瀬) means seven rapids. The river had seven rapids in it, so the people called it Nanase river (literally ''seven rapid river''). As the cursed family was the only one who could get near the river without dying, they were eventually called by its name too, and so the ''Nanase'' family name was born. I wanted to explain this just in case it wasn't clear.

 _The Selkie Bride_ is a real fairy tale, thoughI rewrote some parts and changed some word choices that I didn't like or didn't fit the story.

I chose a unisex name for Haru's mother because Haruka's name is unisex too (even if it's used way more for girls and as such ''girly, but not unheard of''). I chose Chiura for Haru's father because the second character of the name means ''seashore'', and the romanized version also ends with the letter a, even though the characters aren't the same.

I hope you liked it, and constructive criticism is always welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Free!

 **Chapter 2**

 **Seven**

In his dreams, he has a tail. Nothing like the little mermaid's tail- it hasn't got any scales, for one. It's matt brown with darker specks scattered all over, leathery and slimy to the touch. It doesn't feel gross, though. Perhaps it had to do with his tougher skin or the webs between his fingers. The fins resemble flat shells.

He's been dreaming of that tail far longer than he can remember.

So when he sits up after snoozing in the shallow part of the bay, raises his hand to protect his eyes from the sun and sees a long, green tail, his only thought is: _Oh. That's new._

His eyes follow the slow, lazy movements of the tail through the crystalline water. It swings from side to side and breaks the surface, green scales reflecting the light of the sun with a metallic sheen. The water flows off it, and a drop splashes onto Haru's chest.

He yelps. It's hot outside today, unbearable outside the sea or the pool, but somehow the water is still cold enough to shock Haru out of his dream like state.

His breath catches when he realizes it: the tail isn't attached to him. And he's not dreaming either.

There's a face in front of his, way too close for comfort, and eyes as red as the setting sun are peering up at him. ''Hi!''

Haru startles and accidentally gulps some sea water in. It tastes like salt and gets into his air pipe. He tries to back away, but the cliff is too close by and he hasn't scrambled backward for more than a meter before he bumps his head against the rocks, still coughing loudly. The impact is hard, and his head pounds for a moment or two.

 _Calm down._ He tries to slow down his heartbeat by controlling his breathing and cards his fingers through his wet hair. There's a slight bump underneath his fingertips. Wincing, he looks up at the face that surprised him so.

''Are you okay?'' The boy (is it a boy?) asks, furrowing his brow. He leans forward.

Haru doesn't know what to say and the boy is way too close. He doesn't like it at all. He squints and leans forward too, hand raised.

The green tail. The translucent fins along the sides are raggedy. It reminds Haru of seaweed. His hand glides along the scales, reveling in the slimy and bumpy texture. A hand closes over his own. There's webbing between the fingers.

Haru raises his head and catches sight of the boy (yes, definitely a boy. Haru's certain now) cradling his tail in his arms, sizing him up with wide eyes. Haru doesn't care.

This is far too intriguing to let go of without even attempting to discover more.

''What species are you?''

Haru knows it's the kind of question his mother would scold him for, but that's never stopped him before. Besides, he hasn't seen her in years. Grandma gets him, even though she did say not everyone would see his queries for what they are.

The boy isn't deterred by the question at all. On the contrary, it breaks the slight hesitance that had crept into his eyes. He simply tilts his head towards the sun and beams. "My name's Rin! What's yours?"

* * *

 **Twelve**

"It's funny, don'tcha think?" Rin says, laying on his back and raising his hand above his head, fingers spread to led the sunshine through.

It creates interesting shadows on his face, and Haruka thinks he should take his pencils with him next time- maybe even his watercolor set. He doesn't think he can capture Rin in black and white- he's too colorful and vibrant for shades of gray.

"What?" he asks.

Rin lets his hand fall down and shifts to his side. "That you have blue eyes, like the water, but mine are red like fire." He says, putting his cheek on his hand. He gazes softly at Haru, but somehow, neither of them feels the need to smile.

Rin's tail brushes against his legs, but it seems to be an accident, so Haru doesn't say anything.

* * *

 **Thirteen**

''Race me underwater,'' Rin says, as he turns to lay on his stomach, smiling brightly as the sand tickles against his skin. His eyes follow Haru's form. He's gliding through the water with practiced ease.

''No,''

Rin raises his upper body by pushing himself up and tries to drag himself into the water. He loves how strange and new everything is in the world above the water, but as much as he likes the beach, getting back into the water is _hard. Next time,_ he thinks to himself, _I'll stay in the sea._

But that is kind of what he told himself the last time too. And the time before that. And Adventures (with a capital A!) are supposed to have obstacles to overcome, right? And the human world is definitely an Adventure.

He when he finally reaches the water, he looks up to Haru again. ''Why not?''

Haru doesn't stop swimming, but there's a small pause in his stroke.

''Don't feel like it.''

''Come on, Haru!'' Rin whines, splashing his tail around. ''I know you want to! Swim with me, and I'll show you a sight you've never seen before!''

Haru stops abruptly and stands up, fists balling and clenching his teeth. His glare is so intense that Rin wants to flinch. But he doesn't. This is Haru. He will meet every challenge Haru issues. He doesn't care that Haru is stalking towards him- okay, he does, because he wants Haru to be his friend, but if he is going to be like this, he could just go stuff himself with his stupid: ''I don't feel like it!''

So Rin glares back just as intensely and doesn't give when Haru jabs a finger in his face.

''I can't breathe underwater, jerk!''

…

Oh.

All the fight leaves Rin in an instant. He averts his eyes. Sinking to the ocean bottom doesn't sound too bad right now… The sea floor, where Haru can't follow him.

''I didn't know that.''

Haru crosses his arms. ''Well, now you do.'' He snaps, ''So stop trying to convince me to swim with you!''

It hurts.

But Rin doesn't even know the meaning of pain yet.

* * *

 **Fourteen**

''When a siren has fallen in love, and they reach the age of majority, they will feel the call. Then the hunt starts.''

Haru simply stares at him.

''You don't get it, do you, Nanase!'' Rin hisses in Haru's face. ''They find their mate, drag them to the bottom of the ocean and _mark them._ ''

That, at least, got a raised eyebrow. ''And?''

Rin flushes redder than a fire engine and begins to splutter. ''Well… they…'' He can feel the blush creeping down his neck to his chest. Haru's eyes follow it curiously. What is he thinking? Rin crosses his arms self-consciously, shifting uneasily.

''Stop being such a loser! I'm trying to have a serious conversation here!''

Shit. That didn't even sound convincing in his own head. Haru doesn't appear to be impressed either. His deadpan expression says it all.

''Anyway,'' Rin says quickly, looking away, ''That's the reason we're not supposed to talk to humans. They can't exactly breathe down there, and if they die… Well, let's say that nobody likes a feral siren.''

* * *

''You'll come back,'' Haru says a bit crabby, crossing his arms and looking anywhere but Rin. Rin gets it, though- he knows Haru. He can hear the _please_ and the _promise me_ , even though the human boy doesn't say them out loud.

He feels a smile creeping up on his face, and he surges forward. Haru squeaks when Rin throws his arms around his neck- and Rin can't help but giggle. Haru may be a complete introvert, but he's not stoic. It's cute, actually, the siren muses, resting his cheek on Haru's shoulder.

What's even cuter, though, is the slight blush on Haru's face when he pulls back. It does funny things to his stomach.

Rin bites his lip. Should he… His heartbeat sounds like a hummingbird in his ears, but Haru's eyes are on him, and his breath catches in his throat.

The water feels strange against his skin, and he shivers, even though he isn't cold. _I can do this,_ he tells himself, _I can do this._

So he takes a deep breath, snatches Haru's hand and bites down on the middle finger with his razor sharp shark teeth. Haru startles and would have fallen over if he'd actually been standing, but Rin's tail is behind him and prevents his fall. Blood wells up from the tiny puncture on his finger, and Rin smiles.

Haru, however, isn't happy at all as he clutches his wounded hand. "That hurt!''

Rin frowns. ''Of course it does. That's part of the process.'' At Haru's glare, he suddenly understands. ''This is a human quirk again, isn't it? You call the most ordinary matters strange,'' he giggles. ''It's a blood promise.''

Suddenly, he frowns and tilts his head as if he hears a voice in the distance. It's the last thing he does before his eyes glaze over. He smiles at Haru one last time, disoriented, and swims towards the open ocean.

He blinks, and Rin is gone.

The wind yanks at Haru's hair and the waves rise, higher and higher, until collides with the cliff, scattering the water and drenching his clothes.

He remembers what Rin once said: _''Swim with me and I'll show you a sight you've never seen before!''_ To his distress, he realizes that parting from Rin is going to strike him even harder. His heart clenches, but he keeps staring at the spot where he saw the last of Rin.

Not for the first time, Haru curses his lungs with all his might- but he damns the true curse resting upon him more. Because deep down in the sea, there is a boy he loves but cannot follow.

* * *

 **Authors note**

The blood promise was partially inspired by Rin's grandmother, who was an ama, a woman that dives for pearls. Somehow, this turned into a courtship ritual in my head, where, if a woman gave a man (or another woman), a single pearl as a promise of marriage (or the local merpeople equivalent). As only a woman can be an ama, I wanted a similar ritual for men. So that, and Rin's shark teeth, let me to the blood promise. These two rituals symbolize something that I think marriage is supposed to be: The pearl says: You are my treasure. The blood says: You are my family.

I wrote the last scene while listening to ''Holding On and Letting Go'' by Ross Copperman.

Also- Did anyone ever think of the name ''Mermatsuoka''? It sounds so funny XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Free!

 **Chapter 3**

" _But curses can be broken, right?"_

 _His grandmother nods and leans forward. "But this particular curse can only be defeated when the cursed children leave the sea song behind. Only then they can become one with the sea.''_

* * *

 **Fifteen**

''I'm not coming.''

For a moment, Haru doesn't know what to say. His lips tighten and he clenches his jaw. His body is shaking, fists balling and relaxing without rhyme or reason. ''I knew you were a coward,'' he spits out, ''But congrats, you've reached a new high.''

It's quiet at the other end of the line for a moment, before: ''Young man, I do not care whether or not you are upset about your grandmother's death, I am your father, and I will not be spoken to in this manner!''

It takes all the restraint Haru can drag from his meager reserves not to hurl the phone at the wall. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. The fight leaves him, and somehow, that feels terribly sad. He's tired of the disappointment.

''You lost the right to call yourself my father a long time ago,'' he sighs, ''and it has a lot to do with the fact that you don't care.''

The words he doesn't say sound louder than the ones he does.

''Stop running, come home. I can't bury her alone.''

* * *

They carry her body through the darkness, step onto the stones in the river and walk past the seven rapids, to the bay. The sand crunches underneath their bare feet and the air smells like salt. The water is calm tonight, the waves are nothing more than little bumps that gently roll onto the shore.

The lay her down, her feet in the water.

They hold vigil over her body that night. They watch silently as the day breaks and the first sun rays touch the water, their reflection a breath-taking display of orange and red. It seems to take an eternity. But then it happens- the moment the light reaches her body, she dissolves. Great white flocks are the only thing left behind, and the ocean takes her, riding on top of the waves. Seafoam, that's what she's become.

She's beautiful, even in this form, Haru thinks. White, light and airy, and most of all: In her element. She's joining the sea.

And suddenly, his chest feels like a cage and he can't _breathe_ , suffocating in his own mind, the pressure that's dragging him down is heavier than the pressure of water ever could be. That's what it feels like, the realization.

The curse.

His father tried to break it by leaving the sea, but he's been doing that since Haru was four, and the only thing that resulted in was a child that barely knows his parents.

Haru hates the curse as much as he loves sea song- and as he has realized by now, the only way to break it, is to die.

His father has disappeared again, desperately running from a curse Haru knows he can't hide from.

(He is fifteen, and all his hopes of being set free have turned to dust)

* * *

He has no purpose anymore, and it is almost too easy to lose himself in dreams. The sea songs jarring notes begin to hurt his ears and the scent of salt follows him everywhere.

"You only need to take one more step, and we'll be together forever." It whispers to him in his sleep, and the water sloshes around his legs. He can taste his own fear, and his heart thrums in his chest.

Nobody ever said the sea wasn't cruel.

* * *

 **Sixteen**

He dreams of a green tail and eyes like the sunset, and when he wakes up, there's a hole in his heart. His fever dreams make him press his hands against his head in an attempt to make them stop. It doesn't work, it doesn't work, it _doesn't_ work and it _hurts._

He's never needed someone as much as he does now, so he stumbles out of his back door and _runs._ His sweat-soaked pajamas stick to his frame and make him shiver, but he has only one thing on his mind.

The darkness is suffocating, the air is cold and the smell of sickness hangs around him. The sound of rushing water is a balm to his soul, and when he leaps off the river bank, onto the stepping stones, he can feel his heart beating like a drum.

The stones cut his bare feet, and the blood soaks into the sand of the bay. His footprints are stained red. Just in front of the sea, he finally stops.

His knees give out, and he collapses onto the ground. There's a lump his throat, and he can't swallow it down.

* * *

Every morning afterward, he wakes up at the first light of day, only to find himself on the shore, in the exact position his grandmother's corpse was when she turned into sea foam.

It should scare him, and somewhere deep down, he's sure it _is._ It's just that the sea song sings louder. Louder and louder, until it almost deafens him. Until he _wants_ so badly it hurts, but he doesn't know what he desires. It twists and turns until all his thoughts whirl around in his head like snowflakes in a blizzard. It's freezing or unbearably hot, and Haru shivers along with it.

(salt, ocean, darkness, green scales, sharp teethhatelovewaterwaves, _pressure_ ).

Exhausted, covered in sweat and sand sticking uncomfortably to his slick skin, he thinks: _A siren song, that's what this is._

He lets his head fall back, breathing in sync with the roll of the waves. The call of the seagulls sounds, and he knows exactly who the sea has taken this time. He has resigned himself to his fate- his drowning is only a matter of time.

* * *

 **Seventeen**

One morning, Makoto walks into the Nanase household and he finds Haru at the kitchen table, simply sitting, back straight, hands resting at his sides. He's staring into the distance, towards the sea, and something about the depth of his gaze unsettles Makoto. The expression on his face is almost dazed.

For a second, Makoto thought it was grandmother Nanase there at the table, instead of Haru. He remembers her sitting in that chair, the wrinkles around her eyes creasing like the folds of old knitted blankets, softened by the passage of time. One hand cradling her cheek, the other straying over the polished wood, veins clearly visible. Old, color washed out, withering like ancient people do.

The way she would sigh was so quiet, so whole, that he almost felt like it was the last flicker of a candle flame, the smoke the only thing left to spiral in the air.

He blinks, and just like that, the image is gone- only the quiet, longing sadness that she shared with her grandson remains.

It scares him, to see his friend like this.

* * *

Haru startles awake in the middle of his classes, the teacher not even bothering to try and wake him anymore, and instantly knows this:

Rin is on his way back.

* * *

 **Authors note**

Hi, everyone!

There are a lot vague things happening in this chapter, that will be explained in the companion story (the dream sequence, for example). The side story I should have been working on while posting this, but, um, KHR said no. It kidnapped my creativity and decided it was going to do fem!Tsuna instead. I'll probably find my muse for the companion story again, though. It's far too interesting not too! ^^

Parts of this chapter were inspired by this quote: '' _I'll drown in an ocean of pain and emotion''_ from the song The silent scream by Anna Blue. The song doesn't really fit this story, but I heard that single sentence and it felt like it belonged so much with this story that I had to mention it.

While writing this chapter, I listened to the songs ''Cosmic Love'' and ''Rabbit Heart'' by Florence and the Machine, and several instrumental songs by Peter Gundry.

I hope you enjoyed it, and constructive criticism is always welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Free!

 **Chapter 4**

The siren song that Rin seems to be singing and the sea song entwine until they're one. It's a wave of emotion and longing creating a storm of passion. It feels like Haru is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders just by walking around these days. The stones for his drowning have already filled his pockets- he can feel the burden pulling on his clothes, even if they aren't there yet.

To his surprise, their presence is a comfort.

Though Makoto is usually good about giving Haru space, he has been hovering over him the last few days. He keeps reaching out. Almost touching Haru, but not quite. Brows furrowing and trying to keep Haru in sight as long as possible. It's so subtle that Haru wouldn't even have noticed if he hadn't know Makoto so well.

It's like Makoto can sense that Haru is going to disappear any second now, so he tries to hold on with a desperation that's not like him at all. Haru knows that he's the one driving Makoto to this utter madness, but he wants to turn away and simply _not see it_. But it's never been that easy. Makoto flinches every time Haru withdraws, looking down and burying his hands in his pockets in a terribly awkward manner. It makes Haru's chest feel tight the way the song holding his ears captive doesn't anymore.

So he walks with Makoto every day, slowly seduced by the lapping of the waves. He can almost hear the quiet splashes his first steps into the water will make, but he walks beside the only friend he's ever had silently. His only friend besides Rin, of course, but Rin is _different._ If that wasn't clear by now, then nothing would be.

* * *

It all comes to a head on a summer evening. The air is moist, the kind that makes it hard to breathe. It lies over Iwatobi like a heavy blanket, covering the entire town and slowly suffocating it. The sun is bright and most people fled the streets hours ago.

Haru and Makoto are in the Tachibana's backyard. The wood of the picnic table is rough beneath Haru's thighs- he's only wearing his swimsuit. Makoto already gave up on getting him to wear more clothes earlier that day.

The popsicle feels cold against his tongue, a welcome relief from the heat. It's melting too fast, though. It hasn't been out of the freezer for more than two minutes and his hands are already sticky from the sugary water running down the sides.

The crinkling sound of plastic being crushed makes him look up. Makoto sits there, his whole body tense, lips tight, his fist is clenched around the wrapper of his popsicle, knuckles white.

''Why can't you just be happy with what you have?!''

It hangs in the air between them.

A bird tweets in the distance, and Haru can hear the rustling of the leaves of the camellia shrubs Makoto's mother cherishes so much. The grass in the yard is dead, but the plant is still flowering. The delicate petals of the red-pink blooms remind him of Rin.

Rin is everywhere Haru goes- even if it is only in his own thoughts. It would probably drive him crazy if it was in his nature to struggle against such thing. But it's not.

Just like his longing for the sea song, his love for Rin has become an everlasting part of his soul.

''I can't change the motion of the ocean.'' _Fighting against things that are never going to change is futile._

Makoto lowers his head slowly, shoulders hunching and arms pressed against his sides.

''I just…'' his voice is small, his seemingly too-big hands fiddling with the edge of his shirt as he looks down, ''wanted this summer to last forever.''

He raises his head, a sad smile bordering on a bitter grin on his face as green eyes meet blue. ''But I guess that's just not possible, isn't it?''

Something in Haru contracts. He raises his hand to somehow comfort Makoto, even though he has no idea how to do that.

He never gets that far, though, because he's interrupted by the loud creak of the garden gate being thrown open.

Ran runs into the garden, stumbles and falls, hair falling all around her, her breathing violently fast.

Is she hyperventilating?!

Makoto has already gotten up, ready to deal with a scraped knee, when Ran pushes her hair out of her face like it's seaweed she's tangled in, eyes desperate and pleading.

''Onii-chan!'' She tries to get up, but she's trying to do everything at the same time and falls down again. Makoto quickly helps her up, but she's shaking all over. She holds onto Makoto's arm, and even to Haru it's obvious that it must be a vice grip at Makoto's grimace.

''Ren and I, we had a fight! And… And…'' she's sobbing now, and it's preventing her from talking. That only makes her cry harder. Her face is red and her nose is runny. Crying children are never pretty- but Haru's too concerned about her to think about that.

''He stormed off in the direction of Nanase river!''

Haru doesn't need to see the blood in Makoto's face draining away because he can feel exactly the same thing happening to his own. The river might not hurt those who bear the name of the seven rapids, those who bear the curse, but it certainly will take the life of little Ren Tachibana if he gets too close to the riverbank.

The idea of the boy's small body being devoured by the rapids, the light slowly leaving his brown eyes as he is dragged down by his heavy clothing and taken to the sharp rocks on the bottom of the river where he will be ripped apart makes Haru recoil.

Before he's even got the chance to think, he's on his feet. God, don't let them be too late. Let Ren, small Ren, who was just a baby yesterday, still be safe and sound. And most of all, far, far away from the river.

The pounding of his feet is a background noise, and he's still not running fast enough, but he can't push his legs to go any quicker. They're burning already and it feels like fire in his veins, but he _doesn't care._

He can almost see Nanase river, but Makoto is in front of him, blocking the view and- A piercing scream leaves Makoto's mouth.

Haru knows what's happening before he sees it- Makoto freezing at the sight of Ren slipping down the river bank, white trousers smearing with mud.

Haru throws himself towards the edge, pebbles digging into his skin, but it's too late. Ren has already hit the water, and Haru's hand only grasps straws as the current drags the boy with it.

The sound of the rushing water is deafening and it melds together with his heartbeat. It's louder than anything he's ever heard before. The cold dirt beneath his body is seeping into his swimming trunks, and his chest is slick with mud. It rises and falls abnormally fast.

The sudden clarity of the moment is stunning in the chaos.

Haru is content with dying in the arms of the waves, drifting down as bubbles leave his mouth, slowly losing oxygen as he becomes one with the sea.

He belongs to the ocean, but being separated from it until their death is the punishment that the Sea God gave to all the Children of the Sea who were tainted with the blood of the selfish fisherman. Haru hates that blood, but his grandmother possessed it too and he did love her. His heart is so painfully human, despite loving a creature of the sea.

Makoto is still petrified, wide eyes staring down at the surface of the whitewater. Haru gets to his knees, staring at his hands. There are no webs between the fingers. He looks at his feet. Human. But these feet have stood upon the stepping stones in Nanase river, have passed the seven rapids without a single drop of water wetting them.

He is the only one who has a chance of saving Ren and he'll be damned if he doesn't try. One of these days, the water is going to take him anyway. It might as well happen while he's not throwing his life away in vain.

He stands up, closes his eyes and raises his arms above his head. He inhales, breathing in the heavy air and jumps, using all the power he has in the legs he has cursed for years.

He breaks the surface of the water, the water slamming into him, folding around him and then swallowing him whole. It's not silent underwater. The water beats against his ears, against his body and his lungs. It doesn't want to let him go.

The sea song is there, and so is the siren song. It spirals around him in tighter and tighter circles, light and heavy at the same time. The notes voice so much longing and sing of peace, storms and chaos. Of places where no line is straight and the light of day cannot reach. Of eternal movement, of red hair and a bright grin, of a mouth against his own and scales as hard as metal pressing into his skin.

For the first time in his life, Haru resists. He pushes against the door in his mind until it closes, inch by inch, and locks it thrice. The song pounds into it like a battering ram, demanding entrance. He refuses to listen to it and something in his mind _screams_ : LEAVE ME ALONE! As he puts all his body weight into preventing it from opening again.

Because Ren Tachibana is a child with lungs that need oxygen, and the sea _can't have him._

Suddenly, it's quiet, but Haru doesn't give it a single thought, because right at that moment, his hand cuts through the water and closes around Ren's arm. He drags the boy to the riverbank, the water no match for his will when he has something so precious in his arms.

Makoto is finally moving again and pulls Ren up, tugging him against his chest while sitting on the grass. He's crying, running his hands all over Ren to make sure he's fine. The boy is crying just as loudly, his face blotchy, and clinging to his brother's arms. His hair is sticking to his skull and his soaked clothes are drenching Makoto too, but neither of them pays it any mind, far too glad to be alive.

Haru has heaved himself up by that time, breathing becoming more even, and all he can think is: Thank god.

It's quiet. Terribly, terribly quiet. An alien sensation for someone whose world has never been silent before.

Haru stands up and stares at the water. It doesn't sing. There is no rippling aria attempting to ensnare him, but something surges within him nonetheless. But he doesn't have to listen to that urge if he doesn't want to.

It's a choice now, and Haru knows what to do.

He turns back to Makoto and Ren one more time. His eyes glide over brown hair, soft skin, big hands and a face that holds the gentlest smile he has ever seen. He loves Makoto, he really does, but he has the blood of the fisherman in his veins, and he's almost as selfish as his ancestor. Almost, because he might be leaving Makoto behind, but he was willing to give up the sea song for Ren. There was no guarantee that he would get it back.

Ignoring the sea song in order to save the life of another means that there's something more important to him than his own selfish desires.

And that might just be enough.

The corner of his mouth tugs up.

("But curses can be broken, right?"

His grandmother nods and leans forward. "But this particular curse can only be defeated when the cursed children leave the sea song behind. Only then they can become one with the sea.'')

He turns and dives into the water, the river welcoming him in its embrace. This time, it pushes him forward, caresses his skin as he rushes through the seven rapids without hesitating even once. The rocks on the bottom of the river are blurs in his vision as he turns and he twists and feels something _change._

And it rises and rises within him, his heart beating faster and faster, because this is it, this is what he has been waiting for all his life. This is it and _it's happening._

As it reaches its peak, he bursts into the open ocean, current matching the speed of his body, and he gives _in._

There is calm.

There is quiet.

There is nothing, but the sound of the overflow within him. He spreads his arms, bares his neck towards the surface above him, body arched upwards.

He _breathes._

And he is what he was meant to be. A part of the sea, salt water in his body as if it's air, legs melded into one, his seal-skin in the place that was so painfully empty before.

For the first time in his life, Haruka Nanase is _free_. And he knows exactly what he wants to do with that freedom.

And Rin is there, watching him with eyes as big as saucers, somehow there at the exact moment Haru needs him to be. Rin's mouth is hanging open, not believing what he is seeing, though he need not gasp for air when he's underwater and he has the gills just above his ribs to breathe.

The moment is the kind of wild, free thing that does not need words. It speaks, _sings_ its own song.

Haru smirks and propels himself forward with a single movement of his powerful tail, parting the water effortlessly, and grabs the dazed Rin.

He drags Rin down- he is the stone in his pocket, the weight that he himself placed there. It's an instinctual reaction- drown or be drowned, and yet it has another meaning entirely. _Drown in me_ , Rin's eyes scream, beg, shout- Sunset red that sings his heart out.

Haru tightens his hands- webs between his fingers- around Rin's shoulders in reply, nails digging into his skin. Rin snarls, shark teeth visible even in the darkness of the deeper parts of the sea, and tries to make a grab for Haru instead. He's unable to break Haru's hold and keeps struggling, but he's not unwilling.

It's a fight. It's a struggle for dominance and all the words they don't have the time to utter- but as Rin's back touches the ocean floor, Haru knows.

This is forever.

They have time now.

It is everything he ever wanted and _more._

* * *

Two weeks after Haru's disappearance, Makoto throws a message in a bottle into the churning waters of Nanase river.

The next day, the mayor declares Haruka Nanase dead.

* * *

The only thing he wrote was: _Be happy_

* * *

In the end, the people of Iwatobi conclude that the Nanase boy, Haruka (How peculiar his parents named him; it's such a girly name for a young man), must have drowned in the sea, his body washed away by the waves.

They can't bury the boy, but they don't want the thought of his watery grave lingering in the darkest hours of the night, so they decide to put a headstone in the graveyard for him anyway.

They try to find a family member to put the boys grave next to, but despite the fact that the Nanase's have lived here longer than Iwatobi town has existed, they cannot find a single grave that sports the name. It's almost like they turned into sea foam, they laugh. But the joke falls flat and feels uncomfortably close to the truth.

Makoto grieves, even though he knows Haru isn't dead, for all he was swallowed by the sea. He knows he lost something. He was the land to Haru's sea, and will now have to learn how to live without him.

Haru isn't dead, but his grave isn't empty. A part of Makoto is buried there.

* * *

Decades later, the Nanase's and their curious habits are all but forgotten, only a vague memory in the minds of the elderly remaining. These days, the inhabitants of Iwatobi town talk about the Tachibana's and their quaint tales of siren songs, love and loss.

They're good natured, happy folks, though, and nobody minds a fantastical story on a drinking night in that strange little town by the sea. It's just a story after all- even if the little ones find glistening scales on the shore and the passer-by's swear they see people swimming in the river whenever the moon is full.

In Iwatobi, there is a river. The rapids aren't the only thing the children are warned about.

* * *

 **Authors note chapter 4**

Hi, everyone!

This is the last chapter! Writing this was a lot of fun! I'm not done, though, because I'm still working on a companion story! I'll post it once I'm done! The summary is pretty much this:

Merpeople, unlike humans, know gods in human form. Sirens, in fact, have patron gods. Upon their fourteenth birthday, they must journey to the temple of their chosen god or goddess. Rin has dreamed of following his father's patron god ever since he was a little boy. But there is a reason his father was the shark god's last follower before he died by sacrificing himself in order to protect his family. The journey is incredibly long and so dangerous that most die before completing half of it. But he must go, because he has to see what meant so much to his father that he died for it.

 _She is his goddess, his god, his lady, his lord, she is the darkest depth of the ocean, she is the dream snatcher and wish giver. She is a shark, and he is hers. (He has heard her call for as long as he can remember- but there is another call that he must follow, and dream snatcher she might be, but she won't snatch his. He worships her.)_

 _He goes back._

It will also feature Sousuke, Gou and Mikoshiba ^^

The selkies in the original story have only two forms, human (out of their skin) and seal (inside their skin). I made the mermaid-like half human, half seal form up because otherwise, the relationship was still going to be pretty hard to keep up with for Rin and Haru. Though I'm sure Haru wouldn't have minded being a seal if he'd been on his own.

The funny thing is that this story originally started with Haru being diagnosed with a chronic illness at a young age. That version would have ended with Makoto asking himself whether Haru had joined Rin in the sea, or if the people of Iwatobi were right with "The Nanase boy drowned, fooled by his hallucinations." Perhaps I would even have written a Makoto therapy scène.

I wrote this chapter while listening to _What the Water Gave Me_ by Florence and the Machine and _Salvatore_ by Lana del Rey. _What the Water Gave Me_ was also my inspiration for a large part of the story.

I hope the story was clear- if it wasn't, don't hesitate to tell me! It only helps me become a better writer by knowing the weak points as well the strong points.

I hope you enjoyed it, and constructive criticism is always welcome!


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